Psychology · Uncategorized

[Psychology] Are you REALLY listening to me?

After reading: Steve Albrecth’s article.

The article “Learning from Professional Listeners”, by Steve Albrecht, is about whether we are indeed listening to others or not. The double ‘Huh’ phenomenon and smartphones are the main issues of this article.

 

The double ‘huh’ phenomenon is when someone says “Huh?” before their partner even finishes her/his sentence. Here is an easy example:

 

Librarian: Did you return your book?

Robin: Huh?

Librarian: Huh?

Robin: Yes, I certainly did! Oh, could you check whether I have any books left to return?

Librarian: Huh?

Robin: Huh?

Librarian: Yes, you still have to return Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

 

This example is an imaginary episode made by me, and this actually happens in real life. I always wondered why the double ‘huh’ phenomenon happens so often, and Albrecht’s article clearly outlines the reason: it happens because people aren’t really listening to each other. In other words, we don’t pay much attention to what others are saying. That’s why we say “huh?” even before we could understand the words, and suddenly reply/comment to the question/statement.

 

It is clearly seen in the modern days that we don’t listen to our friends, parents, siblings, and boy/girl-friends. It’s all because of smartphones. Although this is mentioned in the article, I realized that smartphones are one of the most interrupting obstacles in smoothly continuing a conversation. The other day, I was talking with my friend, who was talking about a game she played. Although I’m not interested in playing computer/phone games at all, it still was important to listen to what she was talking about. However, at one point, I noticed that I was just going through my twitter feed, without even knowing I was on my phone. Staring at smartphones during a conversation is more serious than it seems. It not only shows that you don’t care what your friend is saying but also represents that you are more involved in the online universe than the offline world. The internet universe is merely fake (although it hurts a little to say that).

 

In order to develop a relationship, listening to what the person is saying is critical. So, if you want to move on to the next step with anyone you like (this includes parents, siblings, friends, and even bosses), put down your phone right now and look into their eyes. Concentrate ONLY on them. Prove that you are actually an active listener. So, how good of a listener are you? Can you still not let go of your phone when talking with your friends?

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